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Did you get blamed for being too available,
when all you wanted was lending a shoulder.
Being too intolerant towards humor,
that for you was more than just playful banter.
Were you tagged as the emotional one with quick tears,
when words and actions became heavier to handle.
Being classified as the complex one,
because you’d put repeated efforts for the emotions to untangle.
Were you seen as the troublemaker causing inner turmoil,
because you’d like truth more than comfort of sweet lies.
Was your self worth hammered everyday,
because you’d put it out to save the breaking ties.
Do you live in a constant fear of being left alone,
try hard to push away attachments because you were badly bruised.
Do you own scars that make your heart ache,
acting as triggers for every time your presence was cursed.
Did you hold onto words that clearly defied actions,
because you thought that promises are never broken.
Do you still carry the questions left unanswered,
still trying to hear the words left unspoken.
Were you blamed for being too intimidating,
because you thought your feelings were important.
Did they say you were ‘asking for it’,
because they failed to understand the meaning of consent.
Was your body beaten and your soul scarred,
and were you gifted the pain and fear of abandonment in reward.
For every time you thought you were wrong,
every time you were convinced to apologize for being too headstrong.
For all those nights that your eyes cried tears of embarrassment,
and your ears bled due to words of shame.
Every time your head hurt just by facing the mirror,
and you prayed for darkness to hide your fear.
Every time they demanded for you to be blamed,
and you locked away your self esteem being too ashamed.
All those nights and all those tears,
All those bruises and all the fears.
Everything you got for love in return.
Everything you feel makes your existence burn.
It’s a paradox, a lie that calms them down,
burden of their incapabilities in which they would otherwise drown.
It’s their gun that needs your shoulder to carry its weight.
You hate yourself for the mistakes they made.
Imperfections are natural, rather to be taken with a pinch of salt,
For the times they failed you ‘IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT’!

2 thoughts on “It’s not your fault!

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